Sarah is from Venus, David is from Mars

Wednesday 22nd March, 2006 (David G)

A while back I downloaded a number of audio books to listen to on my MP3 player on my way back and forth from work. I have about a forty five minute drive to Gatwick so I try and fill my time with something fun or constructive. In the past I’ve listened to lectures on Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece, the Ricky Gervais podcast and Stephen King novels. All of those are brilliant and I can’t recommend them enough but what I wanted to mention was “Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars”.

I downloaded it on a whim in the thought that perhaps one day I would be bored enough to listen to it. The other day I was. I can’t stress how much sense it makes. I can see why people keep banging on about it. If you have ever had an argument with a member of the opposite sex then this applies to you. I’m not sure it applies to same sex couples. Maybe there’s a book called “Men are from Mars and so are Men”, I don’t know. Try Amazon.

It at first sounds like psychobabble nonsense but I swear to techno-Jebus that it’s good stuff. I made Sarah listen to a bit of it last night and she agreed with a lot of it. We chatted about it a bit and it seemed to make some sort of sense. Now, I’m not saying it’s going to stop me and Sarah ever arguing again but I can think of a number of other heated debates that could have been completely avoided. Seriously, you need to read/hear/whatever this book. I didn’t know I knew so little about women. Most women I know probably realised that already.

Here are a few pointers that can help you out today:

Men:

Next time your significant other starts talking about her day, just listen to her and try to understand her points. She is NOT looking for solutions, she just wants to talk about it. I get stressed when I suggest something to Sarah and she keeps talking about it. I think “Why is she still talking? I told her what to do.” You have to understand, she is not looking for a solution from you, she just wants you to understand and to process her own feelings and emotions. She won’t get happier at first, in fact she’ll probably get more stressed before she starts to feel better. I know it makes no sense to you, but it’s true. Just go along with it.

Girls:

Men value their own independence and self-reliance. Giving them advice when they haven’t asked for it is not good. You are thinking “This will help him complete the task and become a better person” but he is hearing “I don’t think you can complete this task without help. You are incompetent.” You need to let him figure it out for himself otherwise you will frustrate and insult him. Trust me, just let him figure it out for himself. Men ask for advice, they don’t like receiving it without asking.

Seriously, just try these things and you’ll be surprised. It seems to be about understanding that the other person is not after the same things as you and just holding back on your natural reaction.

Right, I’m off to my cave.

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