Joke time

Tuesday 14th March, 2006 (David G)

Here's a good one I learned today. What's red and gets smashed?

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MY F**KING CAR!!!



ARRRRGH!!



WTF?!?!?!!



So, I'm driving along towards Wych Cross this morning and just coming up to the lights. The car two cars ahead stops pretty suddenly. The car ahead of me isn't going that fast so he stops. I'm a sensible driver, I drive at safe speeds and leave plenty of space between me and the next car so I come to a halt behind him.

The next thing I see in my rearview mirror is a lady looking shocked and surprised and moving at about 30-40 miles per hour.

Three things happen in quick succession:

1.) I find myself looking very closely at the steering wheel.

2.) I find myself hitting my head very hard against the head rest*.

3.) Everything goes very quiet.

I've only ever been involved in two other crashes but neither where I was the driver. The first was when I was with my Dad when I was young. It was almost a carbon copy of what happened to me this morning but without to steering wheel gazing bit. I think I took a closer glance at the glove box in that case. The other was with Howard on the way back from Brighton but I'll let him tell that story. I must say that on the whole, I really can't recommend them.

I just thought, that lady really must have been going some without paying attention, there wasn't even a squeal of brakes or anything. I bet that woke her up.

The car managed to limp back to my house so I've left it outside. I don't think it's a write-off but the engine was running a bit funny and the brakes were a bit juddery so who knows.

So now I'm going to spend the morning figuring out what you do when you crash your car and rubbing the back of my neck. I think I understand what whiplash is now. It reminds of the time I damaged my neck putting on a hat. Seriously, hat's are dangerous. Did I blog about that? I don't think so. It was right before my birthday too. I swear to Techno-Jebus, it hurt like hell.

Any advice on what I do next would be appreciated. I was a crash virgin this morning. I feel so violated. Oh, wait! Sorry, I was just sitting on my keys.

*In this case, a contradiction in terms.

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